Kenosis

Having worked in some sort of a medical setting for the last 4 years has let me experience moments of hopefulness and heartache. I've been privileged to be with families as their loved ones passed on, and I've been involved with codes that have ended up with the patient going home a few days later. You just never know what you're going to get when you start your shift. That is the beauty of being a nurse. Although I've just started this journey, I feel that I have been so blessed to have a few of these experiences under my belt to grow from. In the spirit of "kenosis"-to empty oneself, I thought I should share some of my goals as a nurse. I want to be able to give everything I have in order to "be there" for those in need. This is many layers deep, you can give your time (12 hour shift), you can give your knowledge (nursing school), you can give your voice (advocacy). This is just a start. But giving more means 2 things, you get more in return ( joy, feelings of satisfaction, even frustration) and being prepared to be hurt. People die, some people just don't want your help, and even more amazing, some people are not thankful. But this must not discourage you, and that is the hardest part. I have cried at work more than probably anyone in the history of employment at Providence. The nurses know, most of the physicians know about my "heart on the sleeve" life I live. Its almost a running joke, but that is okay, if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry! I hope I never get to a point in my career where I am not affected by a death or a "lost soul" on some level.

Hopefully, I'll have more time to update this blog and let you all in on how my journey through kenosis is going. I am scared, I am nervous but am ready to see where it goes.